Sunday is Father's Day. This notification either puts a very bad taste in your mouth and hatred or it brings a softening and tears to you as the child. Every single one of us has 1 father and 1 mother whether or not they were involved in our lives or not.
During the Feminist movement in the 60' and 70's women wanted more power, to be recognized and paid as equals to men. So, MEN stood back at the tongue lashing, media whipping, protesting public of the cries from women who were looking for equality in every aspect of their professional lives and in their personal live. "men" obeyed and got in touch with their feminine side. "men" didn't know who to be: "…Should I pattern myself after JOHN WAYNE or John Travolta?" The generation before had modeled themselves after strong hero types like Dwight Eisenhower, John Kennedy, John Glenn and leaders of the day.
During the 1980's "MEN" and "WOMEN" became obsessed with the "me mentality" of gaining power and money and position and it was dog eat dog out there fighting in the corporate trenches. Men were still confused as to what their role was and there was no one to be a role model for them in the personal side of life and those in the public eye who were in the headlines were seedy at best.
During the 1990's and through today our society has been turned on its head with who to model themselves after. Today a little boy wants to be a "Ball Player" or "Actor" who is on the TV, on the media gossip shows, has his own reality show, shows up on You Tube and Award shows with a beautiful woman with little clothing on draped all over him. We have young men who are quitting college and joining the professional sports leagues making in excess of $ millions of dollars at age 23 and they have never handled more than $100.00 at any one time in their lives. (believe me I know, I used to live next door to one of these many, many years ago!) That's not a role model. That is failure glistening in that little boys eyes!
The statistics are horrific about boys with out fathers growing up. 70% of Black young men grow up in homes with no father at all. 40% of White young men grow up with no consistent male father role model in the home today in 2010! The numbers of those young men who fall into adulthood with the tag of "alcoholic, drug user, homeless, incarcerated, HIV positive, and homeless" brings a "mother" to tears. As you sit there and hold your little boy and you fit into theses two categories look at that precious child and try on those word labels to see how they look on those chubby cheeks!
Women are looking desperately for "RELATIONSHIP"! Record numbers are on line looking for love. Well ladies, you dumped; love and manhood, and strength, fatherhood and role models and someone to love you back in the 60's and 70's for something that you thought would be infinitely better!
As Dr. Phil says: "….so,…how's that working for you?….."
The answer does not have to be spoken. Just look around you and your life.
Rebelling against something in a drastic way often brings the opposite results. If you will just do even a small bit of research you will see that although there have been small gains, there is still a long way to go. What we as women receive instead was several generations of broken families, children who don't know any boundaries at all, a nation where more than 50% of the population is on welfare or receiving some kind of public assistance, jails that are so full criminals are being release due to over crowding, a large number (almost 40%) of high school kids aren't even graduating! and the numbers get worse.
Those things fall right at the feet of you and me. We cannot look to someone else to solve the problem. The US Government cannot PAY anything, because it has no money in its checking account, they are overdrawn and to top it all off the number of those who are in business and make the money and come up with the new innovations that drive an economy forward in order to make the "DEPOSITS" in to the US Government's checking account are employed. They are sitting there on the street uneducated and not working and getting into trouble.
So what is it that you (The Woman) are looking for in your marriage?
What is it that you want (really) from your Spouse?
Who is currently filling that "Male Role Model" in the lives of your sons and your daughters?
I suggest that we all take off these "worship wrong prescription" glasses that we currently have on and look closer at what OUR CHOICES have given us.
Those choices freely chosen have not resulted in the life that we were hoping for, wishing for or dreaming for.
As I watched the World Cup Soccer match between England and the USA, I must admit that it seems like a whole lot of running around for the low scoring that takes place. And the very fit bodies of the players is something that any person can appreciate around the world and the stamina that it takes to maintain a full out run for two 90 minute periods of time is mind blowing.
Of course you have all been exposed to what happened or did not happen and it matters not what you feel was just or a player not living up to their potential or not. Here's what really matters:
One of the English spectators was interviewed on ESPN and what he said was very telling about us as "Americans". He was giving his take on what happened on the field. Then he said: "….you Americans are all about "IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION….." and then he continued on.
This is huge! We do not see ourselves this way here in our own little world from sea to shining sea; BUT the rest of the world sees us for what we are. What does that one comment mean to you?
Are you all a gas? Are you enraged? Are you: "….how dare you……!"
I must admitt it the English spectator has hit us right between the eyes with the ugly truth that we do not want to acknowledge! We are all about "instantaneous" EVERYTHING! We want our information right this moment! We want our fast food in under 30 seconds…..60 seconds is too long…… We want our phone calls and text messages to be answered and replied to immediately!
This form of "instantaneous living" is very detrimental to our life, our psyche, and our well being.
Today, make a change. Just stop one of those instantaneous things that you do and see what happens.
The world will not end.
Your life will remain the same.
Filed under Awareness by 
What does this mean?
To be strong inside means to know what you believe. To have strong values. To have excellent decision making skills. To have discernment and a host of other attributes.
How strong are you inside?
Let's say that you work in a major department store at a big mall here in the US. What do you know already about your self, your store, the product that you sell, the customers who come into your department, how inventory works, what is the first thing you do when you come in to clock in in the morning? Those types of things.
You see you really do know a whole lot more than you think you do!
OK so let's take that one step further.
In your last performance review; what did you get?
If you got a: "MEETS" ; then you know you are doing the "minimal" amount of work to come in do your job, get paid every two weeks and go home. You will not advance and you will be pretty much where you are until you fall to the next level which is:
"DOSE NOT MEET"; when an employee gets a "Does not meets" as a performance evaluation, then he/she can pretty much understand that they are about to be let go if their performance does not improve. There is usually a time limit on raising the standard to "MEETS". If nothing improves then the person is let go for nonperformance.
You might be lucky enough to receive the coveted review of "EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS"; now that one has the opposite affect on your fragile ego. It means you have performed above and beyond the minimal requirements of your job description and perhaps some other great things are going to be in your future real soon.
Being "Strong Inside First" is the equivilant to "EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS" because you have already done that all important inner work in order to perform and live and work at a higher level than those around you. We know that those of you who are wired like this have less stress and a more fulfilling life than those who do not.
What can you do today to be "Strong Inside First"?
Filed under Growth, Women In Business by