Today something amazing happened. I got out of my head.
For those of you who are "Plugged In" to your ipod for hours on in, you are a person who is living between your ears and have made a home for yourself which is all about what resonates with you. This is your "World" and you are happy and comfortable and safe there inside the music. This "Mental World" that you live in is your sanity. It is your place of safety. It is a place where you know what to expect and you have no surprises. No one can hurt you here living inside of your head.
I will admit that I do not own an ipod. Even when personal CD, DVD, or ancient cassette players were around, I was never drawn to them. It became use one more thing that I had to carry on my person and I did not want any more weight to carry on my body. I enjoy getting up from the chair and going and touching and looking for the next CD I want to listen to. I move from one place to another and I live in my world not in my head.
Like I said in my opening two sentences, I was trying to find Alicia Keys song "Empire State of Mind" and to order the CD for my collection. But I thought, I could just buy and download it to my computer. So I did and I listened to it about 50 times straight. I was very inside my head and all of those (see the arrow and select "play again") repeats of that melody kept me frozen for about an hour or more. Yes, I really enjoyed the music and the song but, I couldn't disconnect to be productive.
Where are you so connected and in your head that you are losing valuable connectivity?
If you have an "ipod love relationship", how's that working? You both sit around in your own world and you do not connect.
If you have an "ipod family relationship", how's that working out? You have all probably seen the commercial with the Dad and two teens on a couch and he is jazzed about so new connectivity that he purchased so that he and family could have "more quality time" and the camera pulls back and you see total non-connection. Yes they are all in the same room but that is hardly a family relationship. What about you?
Disconnect just once for one hour and see what you are missing.
Filed under Growth by 
Recently, I was driving in my car to an appointment and the program I was listening to was talking about something called: A Happiness Set-point. I thought that was curious and I began to research what that might mean.
At first as I thought about this, it occurred to me that we all have a "Boiling Point", right. That moment when we have just had enough and we loose it. We may call it different things like: "breaking point", "tipping point", "I'm loosing it," "the straw that broke the camel's back" and so on. These all have basically the same meaning. They are all descriptions of that moment when we have just had enough of whatever it is that is pushing us and we flip a switch and then something else happens. Sometimes it is for good and sometimes it is not. But, we do go into a different state of being.
We have descriptions for these people don't we? We hear things like: "He's a hot head", or "She's a cool as a cucumber", maybe "She's cold as ice", or "He is calm under pressure", we have all heard theses descriptions and thousands more depending your industry, and where you live and your age. Our language is peppered with them.
So how could this be true of "Happiness"? If we know what makes us crazy and fall apart and explode, don't we also know when we are flying high and happy? Yes, logic tells us that. What is that number of "happiness deposits" that we each need in order to have a "Set-Point"? Do you need 10? Perhaps you are really dry and you haven't had many happy moments lately so it will take more than 350! What is that for you?
Just like our negative withdrawals from our being which puts us right at the edge of "Boiling Over" or going down into depression; the reverse is also true. When we are continually stroked and praised and things go our way and we have a good hair day and we loose some weight and find something on sale or our meal comes out perfect; we have deposit, after deposit and we feel uplifted and good and we generally wear a smile on our faces.
This is a balancing act which is our life. We are constantly balancing each of these two things: "The Withdrawals" and "The Deposits".
In our daily lives we must make a conscious effort to have some of each of these to remain at an equilibrium for life. When you add a spouse, children, neighbors, a job, people commuting , the pressure to perform, the media, your peers, and friends to this dynamic there is now a new dimension to this balancing act for now you have each of these factors and multiply that times each of their same interactions and people who impact their set point and you have a mess!
According to a blog I read, some people think that 1/2 of your set point is preset by your biological parents. What do you think? Do you think that Happiness can be located in one of your DNA strands?
Others think that there are definitive factors which determine your set point, such as: "Your intentional Activity", "Circumstances that you find yourself in", and that "Predetermined 50% from your parents". What do you think?
You can choose to let your activities and circumstances to either be a withdrawal from y our set point bank account or you can choose to view and experience them as a deposit into your set point bank account.
Today, I want you to count up your withdrawals and your deposits and tonight at bedtime, ask yourself: "How's my "Set Point" bank account?
Filed under Awareness by
Identity is an interesting thing. Each person on earth has one. You have one. Your boss has an identity. I bet even your pet has an identity. I remember the first time I realized what the statement "The Big Dog", or "Big Man on Campus" and other saying really meant; they were identity statement about someone.
Did you know that you "craft" your identity?
What does that mean?
How long does this creation take?
Those are great questions! I will take the second one first. The simple answer is; "a lifetime". From early childhood we are always playing a role, dressing up to be someone that we want to be. Later in life we have these "hot trends" called "Makeovers". How many life, face, home, closet, business, relationship…..makeovers can one person have without becoming completely confused about who they really are? What happens after the cameras go away or the writer stops writing about it? Life returns to the way it way……our normal….our real identity. If you are a "messie" you are probably a "messie" for life. If you are a neat and tidy, alphabetized spice kind of person that is (I am sure they will find it in the DNA someday) who you are. Cultures also play a huge role in this.
OK, so let's take the other question now: What is an identity? That is the person that you are when you take off your makeup and designer clothes at the end of the day. When you wash your face and slip into your sweats and house shoes. That's the real you.
When you have one of those magnificent days off and the entire family is out of the house for the entire day and you have maybe 6 luxurious hours to yourself, what do you do? Do you run and shower, do your hair and makeup and then pull out your power suit and heels and strut out of the house? My guess is that is not your first choice. You first choice is to kick back and just relax and go with no make up, maybe take a leisurely long bubble bath and wrap up in a cozy robe and vegetate.
Identity is like a costume. We put it on and we go out into the world and be that "correct person in that correct job."
I once got fired for being myself. Now that was tough! I was a naive new college grad just trying to make my workplace a better place, but I did not follow protocol. The truth is I didn't even know there was such a thing. Once my superior fired me in a very nice way I might add, he clued me in. Boy, that would have been nice to know before I started to work. You see I had a naive identity and I didn't have the "professional identity" that all my peers had.
We each have a professional identity and a personal identity and we have a "private" identity. We put these on and off on a daily basis.
Who are you?
Filed under Women In Business by