For the past two posts we have been exploring what "Finish Lines" look like in our lives.
What have you learned about your own finish lines?
Has your perspective changed any?
You know when we see a "Finish Line" for what it really is, the finish line can be a very exciting time in our lives.
A finish line "SIGNALS" a new beginning is about to happen. "Beginnings" are very exciting, scary, and full of anticipation! If you are a pessimistic you would think of "Beginnings" as dreadful, high anxiety, sweaty palms and to afraid to even begin. Where do you land?
These are both (Finish Lines and Beginnings) "Transitions" in our lives. Our lives are full of them, just like the gradual changing of the seasons and like the seasons, we cannot stave off a finish line nor a new beginning. A sunset ends one day and a sunrise begins a new day.
If we live are lives in a state of resistance and confusion about what has just ended or just begun we will be wasting precious time in a thick pot of pea soup!
We were meant to transition from one thing to the next. From one season to the next, from one finish line to the next new beginning. See these for what they are: Great Moments of Opportunity!
Today is a new beginning and a new opportunity, make the most of it.
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Last time we talked about crossing the "Finish Line". Today I'd like to take that one step further and see how a finish line might look in every area of your life. If you will recall we each have about 9 life areas. Some will have less, some more. These life areas are: Our Personal Environment (or your home), your Family/Parenting, your Finances, Your Growth Opportunities (and there are three of those; your personal ones, your professional ones, and your spiritual ones), next is your life area of "Fun", then your Relationships (and there are several categories of these: "Intimate Personal" ones, "Social Personal" ones, Professional ones, and your Friendships), you have a life area which is all about your Health/Wellness/Aging, and your Spiritual area, and finally your Career.
So let's look at what a "finish line" might look like in each.
The "Finish Line" in your Personal Environment (or Home) might be: Moving from your family home into your very own first apartment. Or moving from your apartment into your first home.
The "Finish Line" in your Family/Parenting might be: Putting your little one on their first ride on the big yellow school bus for kindergarten. Or seeing your teenager pass their driving test. Or watching that same child graduate from High School or College.
The "Finish Line" in your "Finances" might look like this: You finally pay off your car loan! You finally have enough money saved to take a cruise! You are able to say: "WE ARE DEBT FREE!"
The "Finish Line" in your areas of "Growth Opportunities" might look like these: "I now know what living in a state of "grace" means." Spiritual. I can say that I have my home in order and I have released all those things that no longer serve me. (Personal) My professional life is on the right track and I now know what an opportunity looks like when it comes my way. (Professional)
The "Finish Line" in your "Fun" area looks like this: I am so glad we went to the beach for the weekend, I needed to break away from all of this drama going on here in the city. I feel refreshed!
The "Finish Line" in your Relationships looks like this: (Personal Intimate): Today I ended a long relationship with a person who was not ready to make a commitment. (Personal Social): I have decided that I will no longer go out for "Happy Hour" with my peers, because it only makes me depressed. (Professional): Today, I decided that I will no longer be a member of my XYZ association and attend meetings, because they do not bring in the leads that I need. (Friendships): I know this will be hard for so and so to take, but I know that I will end this friendship with so and so, because we no longer are on the same page in our lives.
The "Finish Line" in our life area of "Health/Wellness/Aging" might look like this: I just got home from my annual check up and my numbers are going down hill. I will stop what I am currently doing and educate myself and start to be a more healthful person through small living and eating changes. Next year my numbers will be back in the "healthy" category.
The "Finish Line" in your "Spiritual" life area might look and sound like this: I have tried to fix my life in every area and I seem to be failing still. The only place that I have paid little attention to since I left home is dealing with the things that bother me about "religion" and all the baggage it brings up in me. I am going to deal with this part of my life and come to some place of peace.
The "Finish Line" in the life area of "Career" might look like this: Today, I was laid off and I have no idea what I am going to do. I will give myself tonight off and put my office box of stuff in the garage (except my contacts) and begin tomorrow to find a new job. I am worried and so sad. I know and was told it was not my performance or my numbers, but the economic times which forced the lay offs. I will begin tomorrow to look for employment.
What do the finish lines in your life areas look and sound like?
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Everyone knows what the finish line is all about – in one word – "Completion".
Every day we cross many finish lines and some go by unnoticed by us, while others loom big on the horizon and then hit us like a ton of bricks.
One of the first personal finish lines for me was graduating from High School. Now for some reason I thought things would magically change on that day and as I look back at those couple of photos that were taken that day, I see a different end to what I thought was going to be a glorious beginning.
What about you? What do you recall as your personal first finish line?
Later on when I became a Mom, I remember the finish line in the delivery room when I gave birth to our first child, I screaming, painful finish line and then suddenly no pain but rather a baby drawing in her first breath and seemingly convulsing at the freedom now free of tight confinement and the bright light where before all was dark and the startling cold vs the toasty quarters of the past 9 months.
Even now the finish line of day to day parenting has long past but the memories of that finish line are still present in the rooms that our children once occupied and the space that they once lived in, in our daily lives is still all around us in the form of photos.
Do you remember when the "finish line" of your summer vacation was over? Just pick any summer vacation; what was that like?
How did you feel?
There are painful finish lines and exciting finish lines. You either love them or hate them. For those who do not wish to confront their feelings about their finish lines you will here things like: "…it is what it is…..or……it is just another day in my life…..or…….it is the next step in my life, and I will deal with it…." We call that denial.
If you are sad about a finish line; it is OK to grieve the ending of a season of life before you begin the next one.
Here's something that I do personally that helps me as a mother. If I find myself overwhelmed with sadness, I make sure that I am alone at home for 1 hour. Then I walk the floors from one end to another and grieve the lost full out. I cry, I yell, I express myself in all the fullness of the grief that I am feeling at that very moment of the loss (crossing the finish line) and I touch, I hold, I dwell on whatever is left there. I do not chastise myself, I let my feelings out and flow freely.
It is a strange thing, at some point, I am finished. The feeling of "loss" is over and I can move to the next thing.
Yes, when I go into a room with memories, I say to myself that: "…boy, I miss……or …..I love you and miss you….." and then I get on with the business at hand.
What finish lines will you cross today?
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