On Saturday, October 29th the northeast was hit with a very rare nor'easter. Which is a "perfect combination" of weather patterns to produce a whopper of a storm.
Five days without any power, water, warmth or ability to move about as you please has a way of really refocusing a person in the cold darkness.
Here's what I know:
1. Who cares about the world "out there"?………being at a decent degree of warmth is more important! So I chased the sunshine around my home to warm up and those seat heaters in the car are not a bad way to warm aching bones.
2. Staying connected is very important when you are alone in this situation. Thank goodness for a cigarette lighter recharger to get what one needs and hear a loved ones voice.
3. Where oh where can I find a warm shower, my head is itching me to death? Through ingenuity that's how! I think I stood there for 15 minutes just soaking up the warmth.
4. When the power does come back on……guess what…..the world is still a crazy mess……and no one missed anything!
For those of us who are Girl Scouts, no amount of "being prepared" will suffice during one of these freakish storms.
And hey, I'm not complaining at all, I fared just fine and so did the dog.
I must admit when it's fall and the sun goes down at 6 pm….hey, it's time to go to bed!
I also read a great novel from cover to cover. I read it in the sunshine in 5 rooms of my home, in the car, in a parking lot and by candle light. I was riveted and couldn't wait to see what happened at the end.
So this weekend, my spouse and I are on cleanup and reconnecting lines and getting our home back up and running.
The world can wait until Monday!
Filed under Personal by 
I coach clients who come to me sometimes with an unexplained sense of burden weighing down on them and they can't seem to get their arms around what it is that is bothering them, but they know that they are having a hard time moving forward on bigger projects both professionally and personally with this weight on their insides.
Have you ever felt this way? I know I have.
After a brief conversation I usually get up and leave my office and I go to my kitchen and take out 5 kitchen garbage bags and I come back into my office and put them on the table where my client and I are sitting. The client like you right now furrows their brow and silently asks: "what are those for?". I take each bag out of the sight of the client on the table and I ask them to get out their paper and pen. I ask them to list the for me the one area in their life where they feel the greatest burden, pain or anchor. I'll ask you know that same question. If you are like 90% of clients they know and quickly right it down. I ask what specifically about this area of your life is really painful or bugging you? This may or may not take several more questions, but in the end they come up with 1 or two things. Next I ask: "…what would if feel like if those couple of things were out of your life….?" I further ask them to close their eyes to disconnect them from being in the room with me and to mentally go to that cleaner, freer place in the future. When you do this with someone right in front of you, you can actually watch their body loosen up and their shoulders fall and their breathing changes and maybe you will hear a long sigh. While you are still in this moment just like my client, I ask: "….that appears to be a very nice place to be in right now and to feel;……how much would you like to actually feel that?" You know the answer already. So how can you get to that feeling? I ask you and the client to both keep your eyes closed so you can stay in that place of relief……."I could………, okay and what else?………..I could…….., okay, open your eyes."
I bring out one of the garbage bags and I bring out a permanent marker: I push it to the other side of the table and I ask the client (and you) to write what you have just said and I ask when will you do it and to put that date on the bag. Depending on the number of things (which I do not allow to be more than 5; and that is because one item a day is probably all that a person is "willing" to do betwixt our coaching sessions), we go through this process with each bag. Even if they want to do more, I stop them. Why you may wonder? Well, sometimes the solution can then become the gating stumbling block to the person who is trying to get rid of the heaviness which they are carrying and that is not the purpose of the exercise.
Before the client goes, I have them fluff out each of the garbage bags and put them on their wrist and put them in the front seat of their car. It is a visual reminder. Here's the thing. Each day by a certain time, I tell them to email me with a photo attached from their phone for me to see the bag full and the place where they em pitied – empty! This is really a lesson in accountability. They know I am expecting to see their completed promise. With today's technology, holding someone accountable has never been easier!
I also love to see all 5 bags with the writing on them lined up and a camera shot emailed to me and then I really step in and support and uplift the person for completion.
You would not believe how empowering this is in getting back control of your life and cleaning up the inside of you where so much garbage has accumulated.
What do your 5 bags say?
Filed under Growth, Start Grow Prosper, Women In Business by
Each of us has several "intimate relationships". The biggest, deepest and most intimate is the one between the outside you that you project to the world and the inside one which no one sees or feels but you. Yes, this is the most important relationship that you have in life; the one with yourself.
How are you liking yourself and your relationship with yourself today, right at this moment? If you are anything like me, there are days when you are very happy, sometimes even proud at your finished work at the end of your day and then there are those days when you are down right disgusted and depressed with how the day has turned out. It is my experience that this is typical and normal.
I am a big fan of the leadership author and speaker John Maxwell and everyday he sends out a 2 minute video and recently his video was all about "complacency". It hit me right between the eyeballs! John spoke about how we get to complacency, what it does to the inside of us and how to spot it in our own lives. Boy, did he hit the bulls eye for me!
Like many of you reading this; I am in a spot of transition. This is a very good transition and yet inside this crowded body of "me, myself and I" we are all going in three different directions and feeling three different things and we are getting nothing done and all three of us have settled into this place of complacency. Where we are saying: "….this and no more…." Our goal is to just survive until tomorrow when something may take place or not, so we will putts around and the day will fly by and we will look back over the day while our head is on the pillow and say: "……what a waste, why didn't you do something, anything….what are you waiting for….?" Sound familial?
I was speaking with a colleague about how we get stuck internally about this recently and he told me sometimes we just get stuck in "over thinking" mode and we can't exit. He is right. So how do we exit and get a healthy intimate relationship inside ourselves with the three of us?
First, recognize that you are stuck in this mental cycle.
Second, when you have gone through your cycle once, look beyond it and look at one thing that you can do; no matter how minor or insignificant it may seem, and complete it. This might just do the trick. This isn't something that you need to be on a therapist couch for a year for, it is just moving one small tick beyond insanity internally.
Third, every time you find yourself circling the drain for the third or fourth time, look up and out into the world, literally, outside your window, or better yet, put on your coat and go outside and walk around the block your building or your house and keep looking a long way in front of you to disconnect that circle and decide to come back in and do one small thing to break the cycle.
If you stay in the cycle you are already dying inside. I personally want you around so I can lift you up and keep sharing things with you weekly.
What do you believe about your intimate relationship with yourself?
Filed under Women In Business by