I confess recently to be namedropping on the people that I come into contact each day and I have noticed lots of chatter around their relationship with the person with whom they share their personal lives. Here's what I am hearing the gist of:
"I can't believe he/she said……."
"I don't know how to…….."
"What does that mean……."
"I just don't get women/men……."
Then in rebuttal from the listening ear who is usually trapped (due to being in the same work environment) I have heard:
"You can never win……."
"Don't you know that men/women………"
"They never tell you what they really mean about………"
"Here's what I do when………"
Well meaning or just shooting the breeze or truly empathetic and trying to help?
Actually it is none of the above and here's why: A relationship requires each person in the relationship to bring 100% to the table every time. Every Time!
Any less and you are not giving your all to the relationship.
Relationships are not 50 – 50. Who gets the other 50? That is a relationship divided.
Let's look at this another way if you can't quite see how this 100% works. Let's say that you have a 50 – 50 relationship with your utility company. You expect electricity 100% of the time right? So you decide that they are giving you the 100% service that you think they should provide so you pay 50% of you bill. What happens? Here's another example; you go out to movie and you pay full price for your ticket and the theater stops the movie half way due to a rise in their costs and they don't tell you. What happens when you fall in love and get married and the other person wants to have 50% of their time with someone else? What happens when on of you spends 80 hours a week at the office and the other is at home those additional 40 hours?
Relationship and commitment must be discussed. If both parties do not have the same expectations from the other then the relationship is doomed. This is true in your personal life and your professional life. We all know someone in both areas of these two areas of our lives who have sucked the life right out of us and we don't want any relationship with the other person.
What would happen if you set aside some time with your partner and discussed how you each can bring 100% to the table and set aside time to grow that relationship with your calendars in hand for this entire year?
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These two words are opposites. Where do you find yourself today?
If we want to be in a place of inspiration and to be inspired in our lives everyday, then we have to put it there.
If you do not plan to put some inspiration and positive input into your day, you will find yourself in a place of desperation.
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Today right now, are you where you want to be?
If the answer is yes, then move on; if your answer is no, I encourage you to read on and really think about what I am about to say.
How many times a day do you "check-in" to see the status of someone, something, the news, your favorite sports team(s), just when you feel the need to know something right at that moment? Have you got any idea how many times that is?
The number is not that important at this moment, but let's just say it's 100 times. How long do you spend on each of those touches? Let's just give a wild guess and say 10 minutes each. So you and I will do the math here. 100 times @ 10 minutes each, equals 1000 minutes. That equates to about 6 hours out of 24.
Now lets just say that after you work your 8 hour day, you go home and veg out in front of the television for another 4 hours. That is 6 hours checking-in, and 4 hours of mindless viewing which is 10 hours a day.
If you are not where you want to be in life, your relationships or in the success in your profession there is a reason. I know I do not have to spell it out for you either.
If you put even just 5 of those 10 hours into reading, studying, being mentored or coached, surrounding yourself with successful people where would you be?
You'd be a lot further along in this desert of success that you are chasing after.
Don't misinterpret what I am saying here; we all need down time, but what if your down time was used in inspirational reading or listening to someone who could lift you up and get your mental creativity moving again instead of just taking in things that will never put you where you want to be.