Five posts ago we began a journey on your own Digital Signal being put out there to the world and how your own Internal Receiver receives the messages that are sent to you every second of every day.  So, how did you do on those four days of questions and assignments?

You know it is my experience that "Soul Searching" when it comes at an auspicious moment in our lives can be quite transformational.  When it comes into our environment and gets converted into guilt, fixing, judgement and whatever other name you call it, this can be quite like adding fuel to the already stoked fire.

A couple of days ago, I was in my car running errands just like you do and I heard an interview with a woman who talked about being raised in an environment of "shame".  Since I came into the radio broadcast after it had started, I did not have the context for what was being talked about, however, that started the wheels in my own head to turn.

I thought about how many of us have been raised and shamed into guilt for our dressing, our behavior, our grades, our performance in general, our reasoning skills, and any other thing that you can remember as a kid.  Today we really call that type of behavior "bullying".  What I know is that when I started to apply this "test" to my own thinking, I kept coming up with the same answer, over, and over again.  I had been shamed into proper behavior or submission.  Perhaps you can resonant with that?

When we receive those signals coming into our own receiver, we do look at them and interpret them through a filter, and they do get scrambled up and what shows up on the outside as our picture can truly be confusing and hard to view.

What I want to leave you with is that, you are very worthy of your choices, your righteous anger, your disappointment, disappointing others when necessary, standing up for yourself, living your life to its fullest and for the decision to "ask" for what you need directly in plain English to those from whom you need it the most. 

I sincerely hope that you have learned at least one thing you can implement from this series of blog posts and than you have moved forward to a better place in your life.

This is the fourth post in the series about "being a receiver" in your own life and how you are translating the incoming signals you receive and what you are doing with them and when they show up or are being viewed in your life what do others see that you are broadcasting.

So, what are you broadcasting for the world to see?

What does you family view each day?  What does you Boss see each day?  What do your peers see on the outward screen that you show?

If you are one of the millions running on "E" "empty" what you are broadcasting is not a "quality picture" of your life.  If your schedule has no time for grooming, exercise, sensible eating, menu planning, mending your clothing, attending worship services, planning and going on a vacation then your broadcast is of very poor quality.

It is true that when we let ourselves go and we take a back seat to everyone and everything else even our pets we begin to show signs of neglect very quickly.  Many of us are in complete denial for decades claiming that we are doing everything for our families and we can wait.

Nothing could be further from the truth.  If you are not 100% then you are giving less and less every year, every day, every decade.  The one day the last child has moved into the college dorm or flown out of the nest and you turn around only to not know the person in the mirror looking back at you.  You look around and if you are still married, you wonder who that is over there in front of the TV, because you haven't given much notice to him.  You may look around your home and all of the cracks of neglect are suddenly gaping eye sores.

That isn't a pretty picture.  It is very possible for you to be at 100% and have a home and a family which is well taken care of.  I'm not talking about the "World's Standard" here, I am talking about what is reasonable and possible for you.  "NO" is a very powerful phrase and we do not use it enough.  Of course I am talking about boundaries here.  As women we give in far too quickly.  OK so they hate you for a day, that's OK.

Did you know that is OK to disappoint someone?  Yes, it is.  Of course the opposite is also true here.  If you die to self and neglect your family in order to be "Perfect" then you are swinging too far in the other direction.

Fulfillment is a word which spans generations, societies, cultural norms and resonates in every area of your life.  Might I suggest a season of assessment in every area of your life? 

Where do I start you may ask?  That's a good question!

Here are some areas you may want to begin and you can add others as you think of them:

*My Body

*My Mind

*My Spiritual Life

*My Relationships

*My Professional Life

*My Personal Life

*My Financial Health

*My Home

*My Family Life

*My Personal Growth

*My Professional Growth

*My Intimate Relationship

Those are just a few suggestions.  I am sure you may have more and that is perfectly OK.  These are the things which are important to you and it is always a good idea to give yourself a number of:  1) where you are today, and 2) where you want to be, and 3) where you want to be on that 1 to 10 scale in 5 years, 10 years, etc.

I would love to know what you discovered about yourself and what number you are at in each area of life.  To do that just comment in the section below.

I want to thank you for taking such interest in yourself!  You are worth it!

Here we are discussing item number three "Information Overload" from our series on "Is Your Receiver On". 

What is "Information Overload"?  That may seem like a "no brainer" to you, but I can assure you that most of us do not even know when this exact moment arrives, and we become paralyzed. 

I want to tell you when I knew I had "Information Overload".  Now I can assure you that you will snicker or laugh about this one, however, take it to the next level in your own life and it will not be so funny. 

As the daughter of a military officer, I grew up all but 3 years of my life in another country.  I even graduated from High School overseas.  I came back to the US and was carted across country and deposited in college and my family drove on to their next duty station.  So there I am in a "for real drug store" in search of some basic toiletries.  I was used to two choices of shampoo; one for regular hair and one for someone with dandruff (although I didn't know what that was).  Now here I am standing in front of a long isle of shampoos with so many names, and special features that I am in:     "Information Overload"!   Maybe something is wrong with my hair and I don't even know that I have split ends, frizz, no body, no curl etc.

That may seem corny to you but that is what happens to each of us when we go to pick out a new cell phone.  How many special features do you actually need, use much less want?  How many of us even look or read the manual that comes with the phone?  Don't we just try to learn by trial and error?

I know every time I go to get my "FREE UPGRADE", I truly dread it.  I just want a phone for emergencies.  I don't want all the bells and whistles. 

What happens when you open your email in the morning and there are 10 messages from every member of your team telling you to make changes in a document that is needed by 11 am for a presentation.  What message do you read first?  Are you in overload?  I know you are even if it is only briefly.

So what can we do? 

First each of us must decide how "connected" do we want to be?

Before you and I were so "available and connected" did we really miss out on something vital?

How much private, quiet living do you actually have?  You know there is a reason that we pass out every night and sleep.  It is a law of physics.  Even when we manipulate it to any degree, we mess up the natural rhythm of life.  Our bodies are so perfect that if we do not take care of them, they have a habit of "shutting us down" and then we have to pay attention.

Turn off all your electronic stuff for a period of time to refresh and reboot your own light speed living. 

Today, most of the "Gen "X" and Gen ""Y"" have only their one piece of electronics and it functions just like their brain and heart.  It is on them 24-7-365.  They no longer have a land line, or anything else.  They are hands free and living totally electronically.  This will probably be found to be detrimental to the well being and health of several generations well into the next 100 years.

Next time we will talk about number four on our list which is:  "Neglect of Self".

Today, we will discuss the second issue on our top four which is your "Support System".  For Women-In-Business especially this is huge!  We have become a society of electronic calendars with no breathing room.  The reality is that you probably do not consider how long it will take you to travel from appointment A to appointment B and then to make a stop at C to pick up the dry cleaning and a gallon of milk.

Many years ago, I taught a class called "SOS" which stood for "Study and Organizational Skills" to a group of 5th and 6th graders.  They had their eyes opened when I had them take a paper plate and make it their own 24 hour clock and color in their own chunks of time and where their own time actually went.  Big eye opener.  I have also done this with my clients using a scheduler 24 hour clock segmented into 15 minute increments.  I always started with sleep each and every day and then move slowly day by day into wake time, dressing, breakfast, commute time, etc.  Another huge eye opener.

You see we have so over scheduled ourselves that a key component of "keeping us sane" is now missing for the most part in the American life of an adult.  That is our "support system".  In times long gone by women visited each other and quilted, took care of their older relatives, baked, cooked and shared food on a regular basis, as they hung laundry out to dry on the clothes line that spoke to their neighbors, and so on.  Then came our industrial modern technology revolution with all of the "time-saving" machines such as the washer and dryer, and today the "iming", cell phone, "twitter", instance conferencing via computer, computers, laptops etc. 

But do we have any more time for the support of those we love and need?

The answer is "NO".  We have this support only if we "build it into" our lives.  Drinks at a bar after work is not support…that is an escape mechanism from reality.

Think about those women that lift you up, that you feel good and happy with when you leave their presence, those friends who are there when you need help, real help not just a gripe session, who are those women?  When was the last time you saw them?  I bet just thinking about their name and getting a mental image gives you a small boost.  That's how you know they are the real deal.

Pick up the phone and call a couple of them, take in their voice, let that voice support you.  Ask for a date this next week when you purposely set aside time to see them for a long lunch, or even a bag lunch in a local park.

Reconnect and set a date say the third Thursday of the month to have lunch and each of you take out your blackberry and schedule today, for the rest of the year.  Make that support system a priority!

Last time I asked you if your receiver was on.  Did you notice that I did not address that question?  I did that for a reason.  I wanted you to think about those four big issues that I see and hear about everyday in my business.

So let's talk about what a "receiver" actually does.  A "receiver" is finely tuned and grabs a signal out of the air and translates it into something that is familiar to the viewer and it then streams it onto your tv screen.  OK, so you knew that right?

But, did you know that this is how you "receive" messages out of the air and take them inside of you internally and then scramble or unscramble them into something that is "familiar" to you so that you can either reject or ingest what you have just received?  I know you did not think of yourself as a "receiver".

What happens when we receive and translate a signal, gesture, look, message or any other item coming from outside of us?  We have a couple of choices:  1) we can accept it for its face value and drop it, 2) we can take it in and let it hurt us deeply:  we can then choose to keep it or spit it out, 3) we can take it in scramble it around and make it into anything we want it to be even if that is not "real" or the "intended" message, or 4) we can take it in and see it as an opportunity for growth.  What do you do?

In the case of our first issue "Unsaid & Unmet Needs", what happens is usually the other party has no idea what it is that we do need.  The reverse is also true.  Take a relationship (Professional or Private), each one of these has their own set of specific dynamics which we will not go into here. 

If your mate does not know what you need in any of the specific areas of your life and relationship, how can he or she ever hope to give you even a small amount of what you need.  The reverse is also true. 

Here's an example:  When you both come home from work what happens?  How much down time would you like?  How much help would you like?  How could you two divide up the things that need to be done and both still get a break from one job (your professional careers) and your second job (of being parents and being married)? 

It is all about communication.  Take next Saturday evening and have a heart to heart discussion, about "Needs that have gone Unsaid".  This is a WIN-WIN discussion, not a fight.

How did you do?

Earlier in the month of June all the television stations in the United States converted to "digital" signal broadcasting.  There were many hours of commercials telling the public that this was going to happen and even money to get the right conversion box if you were unable to afford one on your own in this tight economy.  OK, so now we are being broadcast to in "digital".  What I want to know is you own personal receiver turned on?

As a professional credentialed coach here's what I know and what I hear from my clients every single day:

* each one has "unsaid" and "unmet" needs  (that goes for men and women)

* women especially have lost their support system due to the reality of working two jobs (the one to put food on the table and a roof over their heads and the second one of being a wife and mother)

* each one of these clients has an overload of information and they do not know who to believe

* each one also puts themselves last and is literally on the brink of neglect in their own personal growth, health, pleasure, fulfillment and spiritual life.

Those are the big ones.  Do you resonant with any of these or perhaps all of them?

Over the next few days, we are going to explore these 4 big topics.

So get ready.  I would like to know, if you have a story to one of these four and how you overcame the issue would you be willing to share it with me?

All you have to do is comment below and write the story.

If you have another "Biggie" that you would care to share with me, I will address it also in this series.  In order to do that all you have to do is to write what your biggie is in the comment section below and I will also answer that issue.

Thanks so much ahead of time.

Next time I will discuss:  "Unsaid" and "Unmet" needs .

Now these are two words you do not see often today in business nor are they spoken about in casual conversation.  What do each of these words mean to you?

What does it mean to be "Entrusted" with something?

What does it mean to be "Trustworthy"?

Did you notice that the two words just before the two words we are discussing?  "To Be".  This is an active verb which means you must be doing something not being passive, but actively involved in the activity.

To be "Entrusted" with something means that another is giving us something very precious, very valuable and that we are responsible for that thing.

To be "Trustworthy" means that we have earned the right to be given the responsibility to be in charge of something and that we have a reputation of being honest and fair with that item we are charged with.

OK, so let's take this a bit further.  You as a "Mother" are entrusted with the care and upbringing of the children that are under your roof.

As an employee of a company, you are entrusted with the responsibility carrying out of your job every day.

As a "Wife" in a marriage you are entrusted with the way your treat your spouse, provide your share of the relationship and chores and so on.  The same is true in reverse.

As an employer you are entrusted with the running of your business everyday and those people who work for you and the finances of your business.

When we look at life through this perspective, it looks very different.  Your are entrusted with your time, talent, body, relationships, earning a living, raising your children, making a home, volunteering and so on.  It is up to you how you carry out that task.

Being trustworthy in all of these things can be seen as a great burden or a supreme  joy. 

Reread this post and let this sink in and ponder where you are in this process in your professional life and in your personal life.